For Smiles and Sick Jokes
by Saint River 2.0
Summary: Ichimaru Gin has a message from God which he needs to deliver to the SSS. This message would have made him smile if it weren't for the fact he was already smiling. As for Tachibana Kanade, she is about to discover something quite new about God. A One-Shot.


A/N 1: This is a product of boredom, the desire to see two of my favorite characters interacting and from the fact that no one has made an Angel Beats-Bleach Crossover yet. I really wonder why no one has made any. Oh well. That just gives me the privelege of posting the first one.

A/N 2: This is the second in what I plan to be "The Interdimension Wanderings of Ichimaru Gin" Series.

Disclaimer: I do not own Angel Beats or Bleach. If I did, Angel Beats would have been much longer, Ulquiorra would still be alive and Hitsugaya and TK would have gotten their own spin-off by now.

Enjoy the fic.

* * *

Ichimaru Gin survived the fatal injuries his old captain, Aizen Sosuke, had inflicted on him. He was healed and arrested. He was tried for his crimes. But he told them his side of the story. It was one of the incredibly rare times in his life where he told the whole, fully-detailed truth. There was no a single detail omitted. He figured they'd kill him if he didn't fully present his case.

For his role as a secret triple agent, he was spared the death penalty. But his actions and treason could not be forgotten or forgiven. It could not be left to slide or be taken lightly. As such, Gin was sentenced to exile and to wander through the multiple dimensions, to wander through time and space.

He would serve the Shinigami, the Grim Reapers, the Soul Reapers and the Balancers of other worlds as punishment. He had been to plenty of worlds and picked up a few tricks from those in charged of those worlds. He has met a lot of new people as well. Though he admits, he barely remembers even half of them. There were only a selected few that he did remember.

It had so long since he was in his home dimension. It had been so long, he could no longer count the centuries he had been away. But it did not matter to him. He was never the kind of person to pander on such things. He was the kind of person who lived in the present. As for the future, he didn't care. His future would eventually become his present anyway.

As it was, Gin was visiting an afterlife of one of the worlds he has visited in the past. It had the setting of a school. Most of the students in this school were called NPC. He never really did figure out why they were called that. All he knew was that those called NPC were not real people. They acted like real people but they weren't. However, whether they were real or not was not his current concern. He came here for two reasons and two reasons only.

One reason was personal. The other reason was he was ordered by the God of this dimension to deliver a message to a certain group of kids. Gin thought it interesting. This afterlife school was what made this dimension unique from the rest.

Teenagers who died with regret and unfulfilled lives were given somewhat of a second chance here. They got to live their 'afterlives' with the things they were denied in life. Some attained happiness, some got to have friends, some were accepted for who they were, some got to even enjoy life for what it was.

Gin often wondered what would have happened if he went here when he died as a human child. But he quickly brush the thought aside. Like it was mentioned earlier, he wasn't the kind of person to pander on such things. Besides, if he died and went here, he would have never met Rangiku and Kira, both his lieutenant and Yagami Light.

So here he was going to this school under the command of the God of the dimension he was currently in. This seemed like a good school. Perhaps his daughter was doing well here. Visiting her would bring a joy to the both of them.

* * *

It was just another day in the afterlife school for Yuri, Otonashi and Hinata. Nothing out of the ordinary if ordinary still applied to them. There were no plans for the day. They had no intention of fighting Angel. They had nothing planned on doing. Today was going to be a stress free day.

However, that thought went down the drain when they saw Angel talking to someone. They've hardly seen Angel talk to anyone. This was quite suspicious. She barely spoke to the school's staff or any of the adult NPC. What made the whole situation a lot more suspicious was the person she was talking to.

They have never seen him before. He had silver-hair and closed eyes. Maybe he was blind and didn't need to open his eyes. But nobody had silver hair. The man looked to be in his early thirties so he shouldn't even have white hair. What's more, this man was wearing a black hakama. He was clearly Japanese so they guessed he was traditional person but no member of the school's staff wore that kind of clothing so he definitely was not a staff member. But what was most eerie about the man was the smile he had on his face. It never seemed to drop. It was almost mocking.

'Who is this guy?' was the question that rang through the minds of the three.

They then saw Angel smile. It was a small smile but a smile nonetheless. The man held the back of his head with his right hand and laughed as well. The silver-haired man patted Angel on the head. Afterwards, she bowed to him and went her way. The silver-haired then walked their way and they tried to act casual as though they were not spying on them. They innocently whistled and shifted their eyes sideways. The mysterious man just walked past them.

When he was out of hearing range, Yuri said "Gather everyone to the school's gym. This is urgent. I think we may have just found God."

"God? You really think that was God?" asked Otonashi.

"I'm certain of it. Who else could make Angel acts like that and who else would she treat with such respect?"

"I guess you have a point." Hinata said

"Well what are you waiting for? Go get the others."

Otonashi and Hinata high-tailed their butts to get the others.

"At long last, God, we meet. We have a bone to pick with you."

Soon enough, Otonashi and Hinata had gathered all the members of SSS to the gym. Yuri informed them of what they found. They hatch a plan to attack God and to get back at him for the miserable lives they had lived. They all grinned at the prospect of payback. They were going to enjoy this greatly.

But before they could initiate the plan, the person in question suddenly made his presence known.

"Well, well, I did not think there'd be so many of you."

"YOU!" Yuri yelled

"Me?" the man pointed at himself

Noba, being the only one with a weapon, charged at the man without a thought. The man quickly kicked him the face and sent him back to the group of teenagers.

"How uncalled for?" was all he said "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ichimaru Gin."

"Ichimaru Gin? That's a weird name for God." Yusa said

"I've heard God has plenty of names from all over the world but this is the first time I've heard this." Said a bespectacled boy who liked to call himself 'Christ'

"Damn! This isn't good. We can't fight him without weapons." Ooyama said

Shiina suddenly appeared behind Gin with her weapons at the ready to kill but before she could strike, Gin quickly turned around, grabbed Shiina by her head and threw her at the fallen Noba.

"Did you see that?" one of the SSS members said. Some of them were starting to get really worried.

"Despite what you are thinking, I did not come here to fight."

Yuri raised a suspicious eyebrow. They all did. "Oh? Then why did you come here for?"

"I told you before. I am Ichimaru Gin. I came here to give a message from God."

"A message from God?"

"Yes."

"If you are here to deliver God's message, then you aren't God."

"That would be correct."

"And what, pray tell, is this message?" Yui asked.

"He has grown tired of this little game of yours and has gotten impatient that none of you have moved on."

"Ha!" said Noba as he stood up. "If he's getting mad at us, then we're doing a pretty good job."

Every member of the SSS seemed happy at this. Yuri smirked smugly. Otonashi did not know how to react.

"You all seem to take this news rather well."

"Well of course. The very purpose of the SSS is to displease God in every way we can." Yuri proclaimed proudly.

"I see. Well I shouldn't be too happy about such an achievement."

"And why's that?" asked Takamatsu

If Gin could smile any further, he would have at the question. "You are all here prior to your reincarnation. If you refuse to enter your next life, you will be forcefully sent to the 'other place'." He had one finger point downwards.

"The other place?" they all asked

"Allow me to show you." Gin clapped his hands once and a large black gate slowly appeared behind him.

The gate began to slowly open. The sounds of fire, screaming, metal-clashing and flesh tearing were heard. The orange light emitted by flames crept through the opening of the gate, illuminating the SSS members.

"Other Place… as in Hell." The gate fully opened and the members of the SSS could fully see the unspeakable horrors beyond the gates.

Gin did not need to look. He had already seen this dimension's hell. He had seen the hell of every dimension he has been to. Each hell was different from the last. Gin saw the look of fright and horror on the faces of the teenagers before. He memorized each and every expression. He clapped his hands once again. The gates closed and slowly faded out of existence.

"As you can see, the suffering you will experience in hell will make the suffering you had in life look like a paper cut."

"Y-y-you're joking, right." Noba stuttered as he pointed an accusing finger at Gin "There's no way God would just send us to hell."

"He's right." Otonashi added "We're innocent souls. We have done nothing wrong. We can't go to hell unjustly."

"God isn't that cruel." Yuri softly said

"But God is cruel. You have no fathom as to how cruel he can be. He… could have made all of your lives worse, much, much worse. You all truly are immature brats. You think that just because you're lives were unfair, you get to take your anger and frustration on God."

Yuri wanted to argue but couldn't find the right words.

"God loves you humans in ways only he can understand. Yet you repay his love with rebellion. It is not up to you to decide whether what God is right or wrong. He could have turned you all into tapeworms when you died rather than send you here."

Some of the members of the SSS were starting to cry. "I will give you until tomorrow to decide whether you wish to become caterpillars or to spend the rest of eternity suffering in hell." Gin turned around and started walking out of the gym. Gin soon left them. After a while of aimlessly walking, he soon met Kanade.

"Oh hello, Kanade-chan." Kanade nodded.

"I overheard what you told them. Is it true?" Kanade emotionlessly asked

"My dear, Kanade-chan. Another thing you've inherited from me, other than my silver-hair, is a good poker face. Although I admit mine drops sometimes, poker faces are quite useful when making jokes look completely serious."

Kanade did not seem to get where Gin was going with what he was saying so he continued. "You know, Kanade, God has a sick and twisted sense of humor."

Kanade's face remained unresponsive but she asked "What do you mean by that?"

"I meant it as I said it."

"So you're saying that…?"

"Yup. The part where I told them God would send them to Hell was nothing more than a joke. A cruel one at that but a joke nonetheless. God would never really send innocent children to Hell, of course."

Kanade was about to ask but Gin beat her to it. "Don't worry Kanade-chan. I'll tell them the truth tomorrow. It would be fun to see them have an internal struggle first." Gin chuckled

"Forgive me, father, but I don't share your amusement. There is nothing funny about being threatened to be sent to hell."

"I know which is why I find it funny." Kanade did not press for any arguments and just nodded in agreement.

Gin made a mental remark that even when she was alive, she was always a girl of few words. "Now" he said with fatherly authority "show me where I can eat Mabu Tofu and some Persimmons. I'm starving."

* * *

Well there you have it. Reviews are welcomed but flames will be used to keep me warm.


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